yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
even my farts smell like vagina
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
