Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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