I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
