when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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