I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I checked into jail on foursquare
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize