Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
