A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
