Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
