now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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