Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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