awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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