This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize