there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
