After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
