dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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