he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize