North Korea, Best Korea!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
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