BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just want to make out with him forever
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
