I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
