He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
