You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
