If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
