If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Boobs are out for the taking
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
