i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
