i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
