when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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