Plan B is the new Plan A
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
