Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
