so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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