we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
