I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
