Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
