sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
