Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
