I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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