I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
