once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
