There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
