ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
