It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
