Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
