Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
