google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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