did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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