I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
