just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
