are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
