um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just google imaged poop.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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