conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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