Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize