I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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