The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When are your genitals available?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
