You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
