Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
