4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Less talking, more tequila
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
