My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
