Where are you?
In a non slutty way
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
