So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
