I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
