Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Enjoy the penises
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
