worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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