My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
