when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
