That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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